New Beginnings

Well, it's a new year. I've been writing on this blog since 2007, folks. 2007! This summer, the blog will have served 5 years of narrating parts of my life and the ramblings of my mind. I'm grateful to be able to look back as I prepare to move forward.
This year for New Years Eve I struggled to know what to do. Do I get a babysitter and brave a New Year's party alone? Ugh... not interested. Do I do a little party with just the kids? Could be fun, but I do sometimes wish for adult interactions outside of church. Do I become completely anti-social and just pretend New Year's Eve doesn't exist? No, this really is a new beginning, so it should be marked somehow. The kids and I ended up going to a party at a friends house and I was really grateful that she invited us. We played games and had sparklers and sparkling Welches at midnight. It was fun and it allowed me to include the kids in the celebration which was really important to me. At the party there was a good mix of married people and un-married people. It was the first time I'd hung out with un-married people since I'd been divorced. That fact was insignificant other than I thought to myself... "hmm, that's weird. I'm not married either." And that I was vaguely conscious that I had no one to kiss at midnight so instead accepted a casual toast-with-plastic-cups from a guy there. Incredibly, all three children managed to stay up until midnight. And then we all had a lovely time getting to 9am church the next day.

A new year is always a time to reflect on where I am and where I want to go. I've been thinking about it a little, but I haven't really sat down and decided concretely what I want to accomplish this year. I suppose there is one obvious and obligatory goal that needs to be met. That is establishing a source of income in the sum of $1000 or more per month by the fall. I really am excited to become a paid writer (even if I am intimidated and daunted by starting). Another desire I have is to make our house our own without using any money from the bank. I'd like it to be comfortable, organized and personalized for the kids and I. I've started, but it's a long process and I'll give the whole year for that. I also really want to understand the atonement better than I do. I need to learn how to give my pain and anger to the Saviour. I'm not quite sure how to do that fully. I'd like to increase my faith that a better future awaits through following the Lord. And, naturally, everyone needs a half-hearted fitness goal for the new year. I reached my "goal weight" of 120lbs months ago thanks to a combination of not eating much during the last 2 weeks of pregnancy, having a baby, experiencing a depression-induced lowered appetite, nursing, running, and good old-fashioned anguish. Oddly, I still don't look great, so I'm thinking I should gain about 5 lbs of muscle and lose about 5 lbs of fat. It will take going off sweets (again), continuing to run, and doing some difficult and consistent strength training exercises. I'm not really sure I'll stick to this (when I actually start). But I'll at least remain active throughout the year. Above all, my main goal will be to have a better year than last year. I think it's doable. I'm grateful for new beginnings.